Life Motto

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." - Emerson

An essay on my life's philosophy: freewill
By: Erica Lee

I would have never guessed that I’d based my life off of a chocolate Nutella sandwich and a Hebrew word. Well, at least a major part of it. Anyway, back in elementary school I would wake up with confidence, knowing that my mom had packed my favorite chocolate Nutella sandwich snuggly into my backpack. While everyone else sported PB&Js and turkey subs, I faithfully munched on my Nutella sandwich, ravenously biting into the tender pieces of bread that were glued together by the rich chocolate spread.
Refusing to conform to my peers’ lunch standards, I cultivated a strong sense of self-confidence. In 9th grade when I read “East of Eden” by John Steinbeck, I eventually found a life motto to intertwine with my choice of staying true to myself. The word timshel - “Thou mayest” – is Hebrew for freewill.

In the novel, the protagonist Cal feels destined to become corrupt because of his family heritage. His mother, Cathy, is the epitome of evil, often engaging in sinful activities like murder, blackmail and sadomasochistic sexual practices. Cathy lacks the innate quality that makes one human: compassion.

Cal believes he’s predestinated to everlasting damnation because he’s forever

bounded by his mother’s corrupt actions. However, philosopher Lee explains to Cal the discrepancy over the biblical word timshel, which can mean “thou mayest” (Hebrew translation) instead of “thou shalt” (King James translation). In doing so, Lee informs Cal of his own personal freewill: “For if ‘Thou mayest’ - it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not” (Steinbeck). Lee considers timshel to be the word that gives people freedom to forge their own moral destinies. Cal eventually recognizes his choice to make goodness triumph over evil.

After flagging and highlighting the novel, I used the insight of freewill to rewire my life. I don’t define myself by other’s expectations or by the mistakes I’ve made. In doing so, I’ve fostered an unwavering belief in myself. I used to struggle with math as an Asian, I’m skilled in the art of tripping on flat surfaces, I’m a self-diagnosed OCD workaholic and I’m about one wingspan away from being nocturnal … but I embrace each and every quirk of my personality. Am I crazy? You betcha’ I am! But I love basking in my unconventionality.

I don’t let stereotypes or circumstances hinder me either. Even though I’m a girl, I’m gnarly at the first-person shooter game series Call of Duty. Even though I’m a math nerd, I’ve got a burning passion for creative writing. Even though I’m Asian, I’m skilled at driving… even in the f150 beast that I cruise around in. Even though I was born with a skinny, sinewy body, I’ve won gold medals in martial arts and broke multiple wooden boards. Simultaneously.

I know there’s some abilities in life that I’ll never be able to master - soccer due to a lack of hand-eye coordination - but I still use freewill to govern my life. I too, can choose goodness to reign over evil. Although I may not have innate skills for everything, I embody something greater: a strong work ethic and fiery passion that result in sleepless nights of hard labor, aching fingers and weary eyes that I proudly sport. Pain is temporary, pride lasts forever.